Sorry it's been a while...

Hi! My name's Kylie.  Do you remember me?

The reason I originally started this blog was so I had a place to organise my thoughts, be honest about my feelings and emotions and I guess as a journal I could always keep to remember the good along with the bad.  So unfortunately the last few months have been tough, very tough.  I wasn't quite ready to share what has been happening in my life, nor did I want to share if I was unable to be honest.  So here it goes.

Unfortunately after 9 years of marriage Mr Tan moved out of the family home in May and since then I have been rebuilding my life and adjusting to my new role as a single mother of four little people.  Naturally I would much prefer to be in a loving relationship with the man that I loved, but things were not meant to be.  I have been very fortunate to have a handful of amazing support around me at this time, for which I am eternally grateful.  

On the plus side I feel much better and happier within myself.  I have been taking the time to be healthy, excercise regularly and have taken up yoga again.  The most exciting development is I now have every second weekend to myself so I am enjoying exploring again and trying new things.  I have even developed myself a little bucket list of sorts.  

So this may not be a lifestyle that I would have chosen for myself or my children, it is one that I have learnt to embrace and for the most part I am incredibly happy.  

Apart from that everyone is well.  Oliver turns 4 tomorrow and has grown for the most part into an amazing big brother who adores his siblings.  Spencer and Hudson have both started walking within the past few weeks and Addison is standing unassisted.  So busy and fun times ahead.  Bye for now...

13 months on

 

Well where do I start?  Firstly I must apologise as I do not seem to find the time, or the energy to update or write as often as I would like.  When I first started this blog is was to be like a public journal, an insight into what is going in on my mind so I could keep a record of all the goings on in our busy lives.  I had hoped to update at least once a week, yet here we are and a month has gone by...

Like most people I tend to like to keep myself busy and certainly don't have any problems with that between keeping up with the day to day chores, volunteering and having fun with my small children.  Amongst all of this I have also taken up running, and I have learnt to knit thanks to lovely mothers group that I attend called MOPS.  I even finished the scarf that I started.  Also in the past few months I have decided that I have found my calling and am hoping to start study next year... GULP!!!

It has now been just over a month since Addison, Spencer and Hudson turned one and the party was a huge success.  We hired the local school gym and there was plenty of food and cake for everyone, we were even fortunate enough to have a coffee machine there.  I requested on the invites that there were to be no presents and in lieu of gifts people were able to make a donation to the Women's and Children's hospital.  I had spoken to the multiple birth coordinator previously and she said what she needed most was for more breast pumps as multiple birth babies tend to be born that little bit earlier and often needing to stay in the hospital Neonatal units that bit longer.  So I am pleased to say that we raised just over $800 that has now been donated to the hospital. 

I must admit normally I am a throw it all together party person, but this birthday party needed to be a celebration, not just for us but for all the people that had helped us to survive the first year.  This was also the first time I had a 'proper theme'.  Unfortunately I can't take any credit for the ideas just scouring Pinterest and I found this beautiful blog here.  I will upload a few photos, (a dear friend also took some professionally so I will try to upload those perhaps tomorrow.) 

So after having a lovely afternoon we got home got everyone ready for bed and then collapsed on the couch.  It was here that I realised I had forgotten to give the birthday kids their first sample of cake.  They were  more than impressed with it when they did sample cake the following day.  In a true testament to their individual personalities Hudson shovelled his in with both hands, Addison carefully examined it for 5 minutes before discovering she could eat it and liked it, and Spencer threw his on the floor.

My Mum made the fabulous cake.

Our oldest had fun with the playdough, as did many other parents and kids alike.

Just a small sample of some food we had.

 

Our darling cuddly Spencer Pie.

 

Hudson looking happy as always in a tutu

Addison chasing after a balloon.  I do seem to have a lot of trouble taking pictures lately as they all look blurry.  Can't keep them still long enough ;)


Some cupcakes that Mum made too.

I shall sign off for now and hope to give you all more of an update when I put some of the professional pics up xxxx

Reflecting

A lot has happened over the last 12 months, there have been many highs and a number of lows.  But most importantly I am continually reminded just how lucky we are. 

This time 12 months ago I was being wheeled into the labour ward and very vividly recall telling every one not to get too excited as I was not having our babies anytime soon and that I was there for at least 2 weeks of bed rest.  I am not sure whether it was denial and believe it or not 12 months later and I am still surprised.  If you haven't seen the birth story you can read it here 

In my final few weeks of pregnancy I vividly recall not being able to eat much, struggling to keep food down, I couldn't sleep, was incredibly tired, very uncomfortable and I had terrible tachycardia (my resting heart rate hovered around the 130bpm mark) to name but a few struggles that I was having. 

I remember being told that 32 weeks was an awesome milestone to meet and then the babies would be safe enough to deliver.  From the very beginning I prayed every night that we would make it to 32 weeks and we would have three healthy babies, but towards the end I changed my goals and revised it to 30 weeks, which I succeeded in doing.  Amazing!

All though ours days are sometimes long and always busy I am forever thankful of our amazing blessings that are Addison, Spencer and Hudson.  Never in a million years would I have suspected that this is what the universe had planned for me, nor did I imagine how fulfilled I would be. 

I am no 'super mum' just keeping on top of things and I do admit that super powers would be great when everyone is sick like they were earlier in the week.

Everyday I love watching the interaction between my four children and watching their bond grow.  The joy and laughter they bring to each other is the most amazing interaction to watch. 

So the preparations are complete and I am very much looking forward to sharing tomorrow with some very special family and friends to celebrate the mayhem, the craziness and the joy that three precious souls bring to our lives.  But far out we did it!  We have survived our first year of multiple madness and can still laugh about the craziness.  And we couldn't have done it without any of you xxx

Addison Rose

Hello, it has been a little while and as always life is never dull around our house.  For the past 5 months or so I have been meaning to do a post dedicated to each of our children to give you a little bit of insight into their personalities.  Tonight I have decided if I never start this process or I will never finish so here it goes...

Addison Rose the first of our trio to see the bright lights of this amazing world is certainly our little diva.  Up until a few weeks ago I had nicknamed her ice maiden, as it was hard work to get her to crack a smile, but thankfully she is a little grinner now.  Her father is completely smitten and that love is returned and her face lights up every time he enters the room.  She watches her big brother with joy and somewhat uncertainty as to what he will do next.

She is still our smallest little pixie weighing in 2 kilos less than the boys, at about 7 kilos at nearly 8 months corrected age.  Addison was the last one to roll but once the boys started she was quick to get going, however she is the first one to sit unaided and has been doing so for about a week now.  Addison doesn't tend to move unless required and once she has reached what she is after will stay there or roll back on to her back.  Her most favourite toy at the moment is this funny little soft toy pig that grunts and her little face lights up the moment she sees it.

When Addison is hungry and you pop her down to heat up her bottle she cracks it, big time!  Her little bottom lip sticks out and then she cries.  A lot.... She is still not a real fan of solids especially the savoury or meaty foods, but give her sweeter foods like banana ,or other fruits, or custard and she gets stroppy if you are too slow. 

Addison's dresses take up all the hanging space in their shared wardrobe and then some, thanks to some lovely friends who have passed on some clothes.  So we all have fun dressing her up...  She still has a gummy smile and her hair is so fluffy that it stands up.  She loves a good cuddle and would be a perfect singleton baby, actually they would all be easy babies on their own.  Addie loves a good cuddle and has recently discovered the joys of jewellery whether you are wearing a watch, earrings or a necklace she loves it all and will spend a long time examining it. 

So I will leave that there and that is what makes Addison Rose unique...

Hudson Ray

Well this darling little boy lights up the room.  Hudson has the largest personality and such a cheeky smile.  Our youngest son has such twinkle in his eye and loves to interact with people.  He is always touching faces, including his siblings and has an infectious giggle.  He was the first to get 2 little teeth

Hudson has quickly mastered the commando crawl and now will beat Spencer when we decide to race them.  He is often found rummaging through handbags in the hall way or trying to escape through the front door.

Happy Hud as he is affectionately known as lurves his food, in fact if you take too long to feed him his solids he grunts at you until once again the spoon is headed in his direction. Hudson has always seemed like an old soul to me. Quite often whilst he was in hospital or even as a sleepy newborn he would be wide awake looking around. He was also the first to smile at us when he was about 3 weeks old corrected.
Hudson has always been the heaviest on the three and also the loudest. Whenever he cries (which unfortunately used to be quite a bit). It was ear piercing! Thankfully now he doesn't cry as much but his laughter is just as loud. He has this crazy leg kicking that he does which at bathtime that gets everyone soaked and I think his brother and sister swallow a tiny bit of water too.

This funny, generally happy boy apparently resembles his father as a baby. His hair is quite fair in comparison so I imagine it will darken up one day. Addison and Hudson seem to have a funny relationship with each other and are often sitting just smiling or laughing at each other, so cute! Well I think this will do for now I am sure I will add more soon as I think of it

All about Spencer Graham :)

Well where do I start with my sweet little Spencer Pie... 

My beautiful third born has such a sweet, gentle, little personality.  Spencer is such a cuddly sweet boy and is more than happy to snuggle.  He loves to suck his thumb when he goes off to sleep, when he wakes up and in between if he is feeling low.  This darling boy loves to suck his thumb so much his left thumb is often red raw.

Spencer is our first proper mover, and was the first to roll.  In the past few weeks he has begun commando crawling and loves chasing things across the floor or climbing over his siblings.  This darling boy loves to examine things and spends a lot of his time exploring the wooden floorboards and is always chasing the remote controls or the iphone.  In fact if Oliver is watching television and we are trying to get his attention all we need to say is "Spencer has the remote" and we have his attention in a flash.  Since I first started writing this post Spence has also added sitting to his list of skills.  His smile is no longer 'gummy' as both of his bottom teeth poked through together. 

Much to my delight in the last two weeks both Spencer and Hudson have begun holding their own bottles.  Hallelujah!  Spencer loves his food, and always opens his mouth for more.  He somehow manages to make a big mess though, I think partly because he is always moving and seems to have a small mouth. 

In many ways Spencer will always be my little baby Ollie as he looks so similar to him so brings back many memories.  This beautiful boy has a lovely sweet smile which is almost a little lopsided that we find completely endearing.  He also has this weird thing that he does when he is happy or sad that is like a pelvic thrust kind of motion.  This seems to happen a lot in the bath and then water splashes over the others, in fact bath time is messy period.

Spencer also seems to have crazy thick dark hair on top.  I think the reason it is so thick on top is because one of the crazy nurses who gave them their first rubbed the tops of the boys heads so hard all the hair on top came out.  I imagine Spencers hair battles will continue for much of his life as the dear boy has a double crown and a double cowlick.

So that will do with Spencer for now.

Breast Feeding :)

Okay I will admit it I am pro breast feeding... As I am preparing to hang up the breast pump for the last time I have been reflecting on my breast feeding journey and how different my experiences have been.

Firstly just let me explain why I am pro breast feeding.  Apart from the many nutritional benefits it is free!  Unlike formula which I have learned recently isn't cheap, we go through approximately one tin every second day and whilst we are waiting for an account to be set up this is about $18 per tin. 

Secondly it is the ultimate convenience food any where, any time.  If you are lazy like me it also means you don't have to take as much with you, a few nappies in the handbag, some wipes and your out the door.  Whereas the alternative means bottles, formula and if you have fussy babies like me a method to heat the bottles.  That isn't even taking into account the 5 minutes you are meant to boil the water for before you use it. 

I am sure there I was going to say but that will do for now.  But going back to my first experience with breast feeding.  Within minutes of Oliver being born just over 3 years ago he attached to the breast within minutes from birth and was exclusively breast fed for his first 5 months of life before we slowly started introducing other foods and he was weaned just before his first birthday, mainly because I had had enough.  We had an easy breast feeding journey and looking back it was for the most part a great relationship.

Now my feeding journey with the trio has been quite different... As you may recall they were born by emergency cesarean 10 weeks early and there was none of that gooey baby straight on your chest moments like I had experienced with our first born.  Instead they were whisked away (understandably) with the NICU teams with their father on their tail while I was sewn back on and eventually taken into to see them on my stretcher in the NICU on my way back to my room.  A few hours later I woke groggy to a persistent midwife squeezing my breasts as my precious babies needed colostrum now!  So that is what started at least a month of expressing 3 hourly around the clock until my supply was well established then I dropped down to just once over night.  Then were the daily milk runs and by the time they were about 4 weeks old (or 34 weeks) I did tried them all on the breast unfortunately they were never all that great at it and Spencer was the only one who ever fed well, so  by the time they came home 8 weeks later I had decided I would express what I could for them and top up with formula.  Which has worked very well for us until recently when I decided it was time to stop.

I am very much at peace with that decision now and looking forward to attempting to take up running after my big birthday next week.  30 eeeek!!! As someone kindly pointed out to me recently 9 months is a huge achievement and much longer than I ever thought I would last for. 

While I am pro feeding I am also a realist and know and understand for whatever reason sometimes breastfeeding just doesn't work out and that is fine too.  After all our babes have been on supplemented feeds for a while now and that's okay :)

One thing I have recently been privileged to be a part of is milk sharing.  While I am still lactating on a much smaller scale at the moment and no longer need to give my babies the milk I have discovered a wonderful community of mothers who either need milk for their babes or like me, they have milk to share.  I have been fortunate enough to have been able to assist two families in need and I am so grateful for being able to have had this experience.  Will have to cut this one short now as all three babies are awake and wanting some tucker...

Times are a changin!

There have been lots of things happening here the past few weeks and there are going to be a few changes.

Firstly, and probably what will have the biggest impact on us all is we have no more help. So from next week my mum will be here one day a week and hopefully we will be able to employ help at least one other day a week so I can have a breather. Our beautiful nanny has been with us for 6 months now and has become a wonderful friend and a part of our family. If it wasn't for help the past six months I am sure I wouldn't be in such a good head space now.

So with that I have made the decision to stop expressing. I have been expressing now for 8 months which is incredible on its own but I will struggle to find the two hours a day now to continue and have really struggled with my energy levels the past few months. I have also struggled on days out because of being so uncomfortable so hopefully now will feel more comfortable and able to stay out for longer periods of time. I knew this day would come eventually and I am so pleased that I was able to continue as long as I did with the support of my friends and family. I do feel as though my hand is being forced somewhat by no longer having the support during the day but feel it is time to move on. So lets just hope our little ones accept the change without to much disruption.

So what else has been happening in our lives? Mr TAN has decided to start back at uni this semester, he is just doing one unit to start with to see how things go. A few weeks ago when i was at the doctor I got a funny looking mole removed, turns out that it was a melanoma and I need to go for day surgery next week to get more skin removed. Luckily it was only a stage 1 and caught early so please be vigilant with checking your skin!

Apart from that not much else is new but will try to update more next week...

More to say

Perhaps what I was trying to say last night didn't come across the way I thought too clouded by fatigue.  But after a good nights sleep and a bit of reflection I have more that I wanted to add...

I always knew that it wouldn't be easy having three babies at once and I knew it would have an impact on my life with both the good and the not so good.  I didn't think that my babies were going to be difficult to feed, I had wrongly assumed that they would prop feed easily (but they don't at all), I didn't think it would be this tricky to get out and about with them.

Perhaps what I am suffering from is singleton envy... Now correct me if I am wrong for those of you that have had one baby at a time.  I had always thought that although one more baby adds a bit more complexity and busyness that you just put the baby in a carrier and away you go without too much interruption to your life's or your other children.  Your other children can walk to the car and are a bit more independent, as opposed to having to make 3 trips.  As time gets on I am aware that it will get easier in some aspects although I may need to find a way to chase toddlers in three different directions.  We are very lucky to have support here during the week while Mr Tan is working and to be honest I don't know what we would do without it.  Our help has become a wonderful friend and companion.

What I also forgot to mention last night was that we had another check up with the neonatologist this week and he is really happy with everybody.  Addison's umbilical hernia is shrinking away, they are all following their curves on the percentile chart and they can stop taking their vitamins.  We also don't need to go back for another 3 months. 

One year on.....

This week marks that it has one year since we found out we had triplets on board.  I vaguely went into the ultrasound room hoping to see a heartbeat, never in a million years did I expect to see three. 

What a whirlwind the last 12 months has been from being told all these dreadful statistics and risks, deciding to wing it and not go down the selective reduction path, growing and delivering 3 HEALTHY babies, going through the NICU and premature birth experience and now managing a crazy busy life with a toddler and 3 infants.

To say that the last 12 months have been emotionally and physically draining would be an understatement.  It has tested our beliefs, our relationships, our patience and most of all our strength.

Now we are blessed to have 4 beautiful children who are all growing beautifully.  The bubs are now close to 7 months old (or 5 corrected.)  We have started solids which is messy!  Addison isn't all that keen on most food, but the boys just love it.  Spence and Hudson are both rolling however it is not being used as a mode of transport, yet.  They are continuing to sleep through the night and are up at 6 just like their big brother.  They are all full of smiles and laughter and are really starting to interact with each other whether it be sucking each others toes, holding hands or even weeing on each other. 

There was a period a few months ago where Oliver was going through a real patch and was taking it out on his siblings.  I am pleased to report that this has now eased and has been replaced with blowing 'blueberries' on their tummies and kisses.  I can also now say that after a few days of hard work, lots of smartie rewards and a few extra cloths in the wash we now only have 3 children in nappies full time. 

I am now starting to have trouble sleeping myself which doesn't seem fair.  I am really struggling to 'switch off' and am such a terribly light sleeper it really doesn't take much to wake me.  I also thing that now that we have been home for nearly 6 months I am really starting to feel trapped.  I am struggling to get out with the kids both on my own or as a family.  I find it tricky as the bubs don't really feed all that well and if I am out for any length of time I still need to express which can be awkward when out and about.  I am also starting to feel isolated from my friends particularly at the moment I think because of school holidays and a lot of our normal activities have had a break, but as a whole I have found I am not seeing my friends as much as I would like.  So not sure whether it is because it is assumed that I am too busy or perhaps they are busy with families of their own. 

I have reached a stage where I would be happy to give it up expressing and am amazed at how long I have persisted for but at the same time it gives me a wonderful reason to sit and read a book etc for 20 minutes a few times a day.  If I were to stop then I would have no excuse to put my feet up a few times a day.  So for now I am happy to continue.

On that note I am going to take myself of to bed while there is still peace and quiet and enjoy an early night...

Hudson loves his tucker, I guess that is why he is the biggest!

Spencer loves his too!

Addison isn't real sure which is why she is still the littlest by about 2 kilos!

Bath time with all my babes!

 

 

My last few blog entries :)

Well I will keep this short and very sweet but it appears as if our darling Oliver has worked out how to post blogs here from my phone!  I have now deleted them but I have kept the post that where he managed to post 4 photos from my iphone, this is something that even I struggle with...

So there is a post with 4 photos on it, and I am just eternally grateful that they are not the photos he took when he followed me into the bathroom, especially considering it took me nearly a week to discover these little entries.

Apart from that all well here and will update in my detail in the not too distant future...